desperate and giving up hope

How we view ourselves, including our face is an important part of our overall health. Use this forum to discuss psychological aspects of having rosacea such as depression and anxiety for example.

desperate and giving up hope

Postby cosmicgirl » Sun Feb 25, 2018 8:58 am

Hi everyone.
first some info about me, I'm 35 and live in England. Here's my rosacea story - it's a long one - sorry!

I first got diagnosed with rosacea in 2008 aged 25. I went to a private dermatologist who said I had stage 1 rosacea which was mild. I saw him for 6months and throughout that time I tried every topical there is and antibiotics to no effect. After 6months he discharged me saying it was clear even though the slight pinkness on my cheeks was exactly the same as when I first started going, however at that point I had got used to it and it didn't really bother me as it was just part of my skin. i products that worked for me and didn't break me out and i could eat and drink all the things i like, chocolate, Prosecco, coffee and i was fine. For 10 years I've had my rosacea under control without using any creams or antibiotics. I'd even started going abroad again on pool holidays.

Fast forward to this December just gone and my skin has turned to garbage. i now have multiple big red angry looking papules (at least 10) all over my cheeks and my confidence is at rock bottom. I think the change in my skin was down to stress as in Sept 17 - I had an accident at work (twisted all my side muscles and tore one of disks in my spine). I was off work for 3months and so many hospital appointments. By Dec i was finally fit enough to go back to work and that's when my skin started. It wasn't too bad (wasn't great) until i went to the dermatologist and he gave me azaleic acid 20% once at night (known in the UK as skinoren cream), doxycycline one tablet a day and put me on the pill, this was on the 16th Feb it's now the 25th and my skin is worse than ever. i don't go back to see him till the 15th march but it seems like a life time away. I'm not sure if this is part of the process with azaleic acid, if it makes it worse before it gets better?

I'm still of work, my doctor has me on anti-depressant's, I'm seeing two councillors but honestly until I see some improvement in my skin I feel like I'm never going to get better. I don't go out anymore as I'm so embarrassed, I'm off work and in 3 months I've lost nearly 2 stone (28lbs) in weight due to the stress of my skin. I feel so embarrassed and I cry every time I look in the mirror as I feel disgusting and so ugly. I'm embarrassed for anyone to be seen with me and I've basically lived inside for the past 3months. My derm said that we could try Accutane (I've already had the blood work done just in case) but honestly I'm terrified as my skin is super dry to start off with and I've heard so many bad things from people who have been on it, (the side affects) but at this point I think I'd try anything just to feel pretty again and not to want to rip my skin off anymore.

Sorry for the long post i just feel completely overwhelmed and so sad. Any replies/input would be much appreciated :)
I'm new here
I'm new here
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2018 12:22 pm

Return to Psychological Aspects