Just gets worse and worse

How we view ourselves, including our face is an important part of our overall health. Use this forum to discuss psychological aspects of having rosacea such as depression and anxiety for example.

Just gets worse and worse

Postby Redfacegirl » Thu Sep 05, 2013 1:38 am

School started Tuesday and the first day I didn't show up because of my face. Today was my second day of 10th grade and I went to school. All summer I was in my bed, crying and wishing my face didn't have to look so ugly because of rosacea. Sometimes I feel like this is payback for something but I cry everyday wishing it would end. School was horrible, the lights and the heat make my face so much worse. I heard someone make a rude comment about my face and that never really happened before and I wanted to die. I'm only 15 and I have to go through all this. I lost everything and now I can't even have a normal life. I'm tried of trying products and having derms tell me "once you use this for two weeks you can stop it and you're rosacea will be gone!!" Lies. I went to the nurse and cried and cried till I got picked up and taken home. Now I'm going to be doing online school for my 10th grade year. The only thing I want is my face to get better and somehow become beautiful so I can show up for 11th grade feeling good about myself for once. Also today for the first time not only was my forehead, chin and cheeks bright red my nose was swollen which has never happened before. My nose is small and I saw in the mirror how huge it was and I couldn't believe. All the blackheads on my nose got even worse. I just don't know what I should do anymore.
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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby LoisAnne » Thu Sep 05, 2013 2:53 am

Oh sweetheart, I feel so bad for you! I am glad that you can do online schooling because that will be less stressful and stress just makes everything worse. It will give you time to mend, both your face and your spirit. You need to be under the care of one good doctor who will take the time to work with you. But, you have to do what the doctor recommends too, that is your part. Nothing is going to cure you in 2 weeks but hopefully you will find something that will slowly make things better. Personally I think you should give the antibiotics a try, but I cannot make medical decisions for you.
Put your mind to your school work and make good online grades so you can go back to school when you are ready.
Keep in touch with us so we can help as much as possible.

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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby fanny » Thu Sep 05, 2013 1:51 pm

Everything LoisAnne said is good advice. Please consider taking oral antibiotics. You have to calm down the inflammation before any topical will have a result on the pand ps.I am glad that online school is an option, however isolating yourself is not great.Have you told any of your friends your diagnosis?
Be patient, consider your options and keep your chin up
Take care
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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby Redfacegirl » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:39 am

Thank you guys!! you both are seriously so nice. And I told my mom I want to try laser treatment so probably in a couple months or so I will try that. I'm just so scared that something will go wrong and things will get worse because I've seen some pretty scary pictures of laser treatments for rosacea that have gone wrong. But maybe it will help you never know! And Franny I have told some friends but they don't really understand it. And I don't expect someone who doesn't have rosacea or any type of skin problem to understand. My half brother has bad skin problems that he got from his father and I always thought it was annoying when he complained about them but now I understand how it feels. I would never wish any type of skin problem on my worst enemy. Also, I feel like a horrible person because I had a bad habit of always judging people by if they have good skin or not and I regret it so much. I learned to never ever ever make fun or point out someone's flaws. I think my anxiety and how stressed I always am makes it so much worse. I use to hate being alone it would freak me out to be by myself so much but since I got rosacea I am always by myself. Summer just ended and I only went hung out with a friend about 5 times that whole summer. I did lose a lot of friends because I would always cancel plans but I can't help it. I can't go out in the sun and I get so much anxiety by being around people because I don't want them to think I'm hideous. :-( But anyway, thank you Franny and LoisAnne for being so nice and responding to my posts. Hope you see this! I think its so amazing that you help people on this website. When I'm older I have always wanted to be a therapist to help people with skin problems and eating disorders since I know how both of them can really destroy you. Thanks again!!
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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby LoisAnne » Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:16 am

(wave) I saw your post and appreciate your thanks. You seem to be learning valuable lessons that will stay with you a lifetime. I wish you did not have to learn them so young and through such an ordeal, however.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.

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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby Redfacegirl » Fri Sep 06, 2013 3:34 am

I will! By the way my name is Kayla. I also have seb derm. But I have the flakes in my hair kind of under control. But the flakes on my face and ears are pretty bad.I read on online that seb derm can make your face very red so how does someone know if the redness is because of rosacea or seb derm?
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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby fanny » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:00 pm

Hi
Are you using anything for the seb derm? There are prescription topicals for it, I believe.
Thank you for the kind words. In my rosacea experience, It is the psychological aspects that cause the most damage, the constant worrying, the fear of a flush, the dread of new pimples erupting, etc. We lead with our face and even though we know we are not our face, first impressions count. So Kayla, when that inner voice gives you a hard time, ignore it say over and over to yourself, I am not my rosacea!!!
Take care
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Re: Just gets worse and worse

Postby Redfacegirl » Sat Sep 07, 2013 2:30 am

I hope I can learn that and truly believe it. But I am using TGel for my flakes in my hair. It smells HORRIBLE but it works so I'm going to keep using it. I have tried things for my face but the flakes just get worse. I have so many flakes in my eyebrows. I hate it because I can actually feel it in my eyebrows it's pretty uncomfortable. I use to try to pick them all out but I realized its not even worth doing that because they just come right back. I know seb derm is fugus I'm just having a hard time trying to find something that will work
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